One on One with Sandra Antunes, first time of mother of twins and founder of Nourish

Hello everyone, 

We are starting off our blog series with a little one on one time with Sandra Antunes, mother of twins and founder of Nourish. 

She will share with you her pregnancy, birth and postpartum experience hoping to help you avoid some of the trial and error she went through as a new mother and settle some uneasy feelings you may have.

Through this series of “one on one with new mothers”, we are looking to help you understand that no two pregnancies are the same and “normal” can look very different from one mother to the next.

Pregnancy, birth and postpartum are equally beautiful as they are challenging. The only constant is that you need to take care of yourself first in order to be better able to care for your baby. 

 

Let’s get started :

Q: How old is/are your child/children ? 

A : Our twins are three years old.

Q : How did your pregnancy go overall ? 

A : My pregnancy started off rocky with placenta previa but that resolved itself quickly. I had some anxiety over miscarrying (again) and about all the risks that identical twin pregnancies involve. I almost wish I had less information about all that could go wrong. Because in the end, nothing did and that would have saved me a lot of tears and sleepless nights. Haha !

Q: Tell us about your labor and delivery. Did it go as planned?

A : It was a truly great experience ! I went into spontaneous labor at 37 weeks (which is as far as I was recommended to go with identical twins). It was a little slow going and I was showing early signs of pre-eclampsia so we decided to speed things up a little with Pitocin. Not my first choice but it had to be done. I had written a birth plan in which I specifically asked NOT to be given an epidural but 6 hours into my active labor I had a change of heart. My husband kindly reminded me of my birth plan, just as I asked him to, and how I wanted to use nitrous oxide (aKa laughing gas) first. To which I replied that this was no laughing matter and that the only way I could do this was with some serious relief. I was well aware that birthing two babies could take a while and it seemed more important to me to save energy to push and avoid a caesarean section.

Thanks to my epidural I was able to fall asleep for the remainder of my labor . When I woke up, we decided to break baby A’s water (when you have twins, the babies are referred to as Baby A and Baby B, depending on how they are positioned in your uterus) because her heartbeat was slowing down and this allowed for more accurate monitoring. 

When giving birth to identical twins with a shared placenta, it is protocol, in hospital setting, to give birth in the OR. The more time you spend in the OR, the higher the likelihood of getting a C-Section. That is why it is very important to know how to recognize when you actually are ready to push so you can spend the least amount of time possible on the cold and uncomfortable operating table. Everyone can decide for themselves what is most reassuring and comfortable when giving birth, whether at home, in a birthing center or in the hospital. This is what I chose and It was perfect for me.

Once in the OR and warmed up to the 17 people present (yes really) both of our babies joined us Earth side in 45 minutes, 6 minutes apart, without needing any intervention. 

The twins were given to me for a minute each and rushed to the NICU where they stayed 2 weeks due to low birth weights and temperature issues. Looking back, I do wonder if I had insisted to keep them on me longer things would have gone differently. Would they have been better able to regulate their body temperature feeling my own ? Would I have been better able to nurse had they reached for my breast right there and then ? I will never know and that’s ok. They are strong and healthy, we have an incredible bond and that is all that really matters in the end.

All said and done, even though we had to be flexible with the details, in the big picture I had an amazing birth experience.

Q: What were the best and hardest thing in the first week?

A : The best thing was to watch my husband become a father. I know its really cliché but it’s so true.  He supported me in every way he could, doing milk runs to the NICU for the sad little drops I was pumping, changing the twins diapers in their incubators because I couldn’t and getting me Pho broth because I was craving it. 

The hardest thing was being discharged from the hospital without my babies because they had to stay in the NICU. Never had I felt such heartbreak. Thankfully they didn’t stay too long and the hospital and NICU staff were outstanding. 

Q : Did you suffer any emotional struggle after giving birth ? 

A : The short answer is yes, but somehow it took over a year for me to realize it and get the help as needed. There was shame of course but I also wanted to give my body and hormones the time to regulate on their own. My only regret is to not admitting sooner that things didn’t have to be this hard.

Q : Did you have family or friend support after giving birth ? What about now ? 

A: My mother flew in from France a week before I gave birth and stayed three weeks after the twins were born. She cared for me and my husband by cooking nourishing food and taking over the household duties for whole month. When my father was able to join us for two weeks after the girls were born he jumped into the tranchées as well as he and my mom drove two hours round trip, every day for two weeks to bring us home cooked meals to the NICU where we stayed with our babies.

Although their visit was shorter than I would have liked, only because I just didn’t want them to leave, ever, I am beyond grateful that they were able to support us the way they did.

Having my mother by my side during the first few weeks at home with the babies gave me the help and confidence I needed to know I could do this, even after my husband went back to work and even after she had left. 

As for now, the twins are three years old and I was lucky enough to have made the best friends I could have ever hoped for. We met at our local baby parent group and forged an undeniable bond as we hold each other’s hand through the ebb and flow of motherhood.

My parents continue to be my strongest supporters in all the ways they can from overseas. I am actually writing this post from my mother’s dining room table as I was finally able to come visit, with my girls, after a very challenging year of a pandemic.

Q : What are some of the things you did that helped you keep it all together in your first few weeks postpartum ? 

A : We adopted a pretty strict schedule once we were cleared from the on demand feeding schedule. It was paramount to my sanity for them to be eating and sleeping at the same time. 

I also took 20 minutes to myself at the end of each day to take a hot shower. Crying babies or not. My husband is a chef and works long hours during which I am alone with them. These 20 minutes were absolutely necessary for me to reboot my system before the night shift ahead. 

Q : What is the best advice that you received ? 

A : There are two actually :

 

• My mom reminded me that strength doesn’t always come from a physical place.
• While pregnant, a chef friend of mine who had just had a baby told me to fill up my freezer with portioned out, cooked, ready to eat meals. I thought she was being extra ! haha Let’s all laugh together shall we ?!!

Q : What are some items that made a difference for you during your first few weeks postpartum ? 

 

• A good quality and comfortable ring sling carrier, perfect even for really small peanuts. 

 

• The Boppy newborn loungers that we used everywhere, including in their bassinet because of reflux (I know, bad mommy, but honestly, we did what we had to).

Q : If you could tell your pregnant self one thing, what would it be ? 

A : No one cares that your hair and make up are done or that your house is clean. If you don’t have time for it, don’t care, would rather sleep or spend time with your babies, do it. Enjoy your them and your house pants, it won’t last.